Angels Don't Cry Read online

  The momentary break in tension fled at her words. She noted the slight stiffening of his posture that acknowledged the same thought.

  “Ang—Ann, I was sorry to hear about your father. And Aiden.” He paused for a moment. “I wanted to talk to you at her service, but there were a lot of people around you...I didn’t want to intrude.”

  Her soft green eyes impaled him with a piercing glance. “I was surprised to hear you were there at all.”

  He shrugged uneasily, his voice slightly defensive. “A lot of people were, I imagine. It seemed to me the decent thing to do.”

  “Yes. As I recall, you were always big on doing the decent thing—at least where Aiden was concerned.”

  Ann felt a small prickle of remorse as she watched a brief frown crease Drew’s forehead at her bitter words. Her response had been automatic, prompted by emotions in herself that were all too easy to identify. When someone had first told her that Drew had been at the service, Ann’s heart had almost hit the floor. For a brief terrible moment, even in her grief, she’d felt the threat of an old jealousy. Then there had been the inevitable and almost instantaneous feeling of guilt. Those same two emotions had warred inside her for ten long years.

  “Look, I’m sorry,” she said abruptly. “That was uncalled for.”

  “You’ve every right,” Drew acknowledged. But something flashed in those blue depths, something dark and unfathomable, leaving Ann wondering about the hardened look in his eyes.

  Her earlier impression of him had been wrong, she realized suddenly. He had changed. A great deal. Even in the moonlight, she could see the lines around his mouth and eyes were far more deeply etched than she had first judged. It would have been a kindness to call them laugh lines when Ann somehow knew they weren’t. They gave him a visage far more mature than his thirty years.

  “That was all a long time ago,” she said softly, reminding herself as well as him. It had been a long time ago. The years had slipped away and taken their youth. They had each lived their lives and time hadn’t stopped for either of them. “Why are you really here, Drew? What do you want from me?”

  His eyes raked her face, then looked away. She wondered suddenly and unpleasantly in the silence that followed whether he’d found the changes in her own face as disturbing as she’d found those in his.

  What did he expect? she thought bitterly. Ten years wrought changes in everyone. So did pain and disillusionment and anger.

  “I want your goodwill, Ann,” he said at last. “No matter what the outcome of the Riverside project turns out to be. This may sound strange to you, but I’d like to establish some sort of—I don’t know—peace between us. I want to put the past to rest once and for all.”

  Ann plucked a chandelier of honeysuckle from the trellis beside her and spun the blossom beneath her nose like a tiny pinwheel. She closed her eyes as the thick, haunting scent triggered a thousand memories. Abruptly her eyes opened. “You’re a little late to be asking for my goodwill.”

  He fixed her with a long, searching gaze. “It’s been ten years, Ann. I can’t believe you still hate me that much.”

  “You flatter yourself. Hate is a powerful emotion. I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”

  “Is that why you ran away from me earlier? You ran away from me a long time ago, and you’re doing it still. What are you afraid of?”

  She gaped at him in open-mouthed indignation. “I’m certainly not afraid of you!” she snapped in sudden anger.

  “Then why did you leave like that?” he asked softly. “Why did you leave without telling me where you were going, without even saying goodbye?”

  For a moment she thought he was still talking about her leaving the meeting, but when she realized he was referring to the past, her gaze sliced him with scorn. “I can’t believe you’re asking me that. You, of all people, know exactly why I left, why I had to.”

  “You didn’t have to,” Drew argued reasonably, as though the discussion was no more important than idle dinner conversation. “You could have stayed and given me a chance to work something out.”

  Her laughter had a bitter, hollow ring to it that had them both blanching. “You got married, remember? You had a child on the way. What could we possibly have `worked out’?”

  “I never meant to hurt you.”

  She merely stared at him, crushing the honeysuckle blossom tightly in her fist. Abruptly turning away from him, she threw it, lifeless, to the ground.

  “It was only one night.” Drew’s voice had grown quietly insistent, as though he meant to have his say whether she wanted to hear him or not. “I made a terrible mistake, but you would never let me explain. You wouldn’t even try to understand.”

  Ann whirled around, her cheeks burning with indignation, her eyes glittering like green embers. “What was there to understand, for God’s sake? You betrayed me!”

  “And you sure as hell didn’t take long to get over it, did you?” Drew blazed, his temper quick and explosive, as though anger had been simmering all along, just beneath the surface.

  Ann stared at him in speechless outrage. That he could presume to know what she had endured! The pain, the loneliness, the sheer hell. She rallied her anger, not bothering to confirm or deny his allegation.

  “How dare you say that to me?” Her voice shook with the unleashed emotion of a decade as she clenched her hands into white fists of fury.

  “Truth hurts, does it?” Drew taunted cruelly. “I’ve had to face ten long damned years of truth, Angel. You ran away without a word and it took you, what?—all of six months to find a replacement—”

  In the strained silence that fell between them the slap resounded like a tree that had been split by lightning. Ann saw the glaring red on the left side of Drew’s face, saw the blue of his eyes darken to a deep and dangerous indigo. She took a faltering step backward.

  “Get out of here!” The words were more forceful this time, but she had to turn away, had to put a hand to her lips to quell the trembling.

  She felt rather than saw Drew stride angrily down the steps and across the yard. She looked up to see him at his car, his hand poised over the handle. He was looking back at her, but the darkness cloaked his expression.

  “Just tell me one thing,” he demanded coldly. “Why is it you could forgive Aiden, but you could never forgive me?”

  At the sound of his car door slamming, Ann collapsed weakly onto the porch swing, telling herself it was all over now. She could relax. She was safe here in her little world. She could hear the crickets chirping, could feel the soft, night air against her flushed face as it stirred the wayward tendrils of hair at her nape and temples. Everything was as it should be. She could forget Drew Maitland.

  But almost like a warning, his car engine leaped to life, intruding into her private domain. He gunned the motor unnecessarily as he turned the powerful car, and with a sputter of gravel, roared down the narrow lane at a furious clip. His brake lights flashed momentarily as he approached the highway, and then he was gone into the night.

  Ann tried to muster up the relief she knew she should be feeling but she was too numb, too dazed. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment.

  Her first instinct on seeing him walk across the yard toward her, even after everything that had happened between them, had been to run down the steps and throw herself into his arms, to cling to the protective shelter she’d once found there.

  And what a horribly embarrassing mistake that would have been. The man she’d once loved was gone from her forever. He’d made his choice a long time ago, and she’d had to learn to live with it. At least she thought she had until the moment their eyes had first met after the long years between them...

  “Oh, God,” she whispered raggedly, opening her eyes, seeing the comforting surroundings of her porch waver into focus. With trembling hands, she pushed back a tangled wisp of red hair from her forehead.

  Why hadn’t she been enough? How many times in the past ten years had she asked herself that questi
on? How many times had she provided herself with the same brutal answer?

  Because Aiden had been more. Aiden, her twin sister who had had the same looks as Ann, but with the personality and confidence to use them. Aiden, who had never been afraid to go after what she wanted, and she’d wanted Drew.

  Drew had wanted Aiden, too, Ann reminded herself relentlessly. He’d wanted her enough to make love to her. He’d wanted her enough to marry her, to stay married to her even after Aiden had lost the baby. For three long years, he’d stayed with her. And then Aiden had wanted out.

  For the next seven years, with both he and Ann free and clear, Drew hadn’t so much as called her. In many ways that was the deepest hurt of all, the hardest to forgive. For years she’d kept her life on hold, wishing and waiting for Drew Maitland to come back to her.

  Those long, empty years were like dust in her throat now.

  Ann held her hands out in front of her. They were still trembling. She squeezed them together, trying to stop the shaking, trying to block the torrent of memories flooding over her, drowning her, pulling her back to a place she did not want to go....

  * * *

  “Happy birthday, Angel.”

  “Oh, Drew, look! A shooting star. Do you suppose that was meant just for me, so I can have another wish?” Perched on the top rail of the fence, her face lifted to the star-studded sky, Angel felt the slow drift of the river breeze skimming across her skin. Drew stood on the ground facing her, his arms wrapped securely about her waist.

  She felt the smooth caress of his hand along her back as he smiled up at her. “Of course. Angels take care of their own, don’t they?”

  She bent down suddenly, touching her lips to his. He responded immediately, tightening his arms around her, deepening the kiss with his tongue. Angel let herself enjoy the sensations rippling through her body for a moment longer before she pulled back. Drew sighed heavily as he lay his head against her chest. Her fingers trailed softly through the thick strands of his hair.

  “I missed you so.” He breathed the words against her neck as his lips found her rapidly beating pulse. “I was miserable without you.”

  She smiled as she kissed his hair. “You can’t live with me and you can’t live without me.”

  “Only half that’s true.”

  “Which half?” Angel teased lightly.

  “You know damn well which half,” Drew growled roughly. His arms tightened around her, then lifted her off the fence. He hauled her against the hardness of his body, holding her captive in his arms while his mouth claimed hers once more. His tongue parted her lips, then dipped inside, exploring almost desperately the deep recesses of her mouth. Angel moaned softly, feeling the need of her body to respond, yet still holding back.

  “Drew, please,” she whispered softly as his mouth left hers to trail along her neck, his tongue skimming across her skin.

  “Angel, I want you so much. I need you.” His voice was an urgent whisper against her ear. “We can’t go on like this.”

  Angel swallowed past the rise of panic in her throat. “Do you think we should break up again?”

  “No. Breaking up was your idea, remember? I think we should get married.”

  She stared up at him in shock. “But...we still have the same problems, Drew. You want to live in the city, and I don’t. I can’t leave the farm, and I can’t leave Dad. He needs me. You know how he relies on me.”

  “Yes, I know,” Drew said, almost bitterly. “But don’t worry. I won’t ever ask you to choose between your family and me again. If moving to the city means giving you up, then it’s not worth it. We’ll stay. I’ll find a job here after I graduate. But I don’t want to wait to get married, Angel. I don’t think we should.”

  Angel felt a vague sense of unease at the urgency in his tone, but her elation soon swept it away. Wasn’t this what she’d always wanted ever since she’d first set eyes on Drew Maitland?

  She smiled through a mist of tears. “I don’t think we should wait, either. Oh, Drew, you won’t be sorry. I’ll make you so happy! We can be together at last...in every way,” she added shyly.

  Drew’s blue eyes blazed with an inner fire. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to pressure you, Angel.”

  She laughed lightly, tilting her head to gaze up at him. “You aren’t pressuring me. I’ve wanted this forever.”

  He laughed, too, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around in the moonlight. He brought her back down to earth, then pulled a box from his pocket and handed it to her. “In that case, you’d better open your birthday present.”

  “Oh, Drew.” Ann’s hands shook slightly as she took the blue velvet box from his hand and opened it. The diamond that twinkled inside was as bright and beautiful as the stars overhead. “It’s beautiful!” she breathed.

  “It’s not very big,” Drew apologized as he lifted the ring from the soft bed and slipped it on her finger. “Someday I’ll replace it with a larger one.”

  “You’ll do no such thing,” Angel cried, appalled at the notion. “I’ll never take this ring off. Do you hear me? Never!”

  The house was quiet when Angel tiptoed in sometime after midnight. She climbed the stairs, knowing exactly which step to avoid to prevent a telltale creak. She slipped down the hallway, past her father’s darkened room, until she reached her own at the end. She paused. A thin sliver of light shone beneath Aiden’s door across the hall. Angel held up her hand to the moonlight flowing in from the hall window. The diamond winked at her.

  She had to tell someone. She knew she would burst with the news if she had to wait until morning. She knocked softly on Aiden’s door. “Aiden?” She cracked the door. “Are you awake?”

  “No.”

  Her sister’s voice sounded suspiciously muffled, as though she’d been crying. Angel pushed open the door and walked into the room. Her sister was lying on her side, her knees drawn up to her chest. A wet washcloth was draped across her forehead.

  “Are you sick?” Angel asked worriedly. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t feel well,” Aiden mumbled, rolling onto her back. “What do you want, anyway?”

  In spite of her sister’s illness, Angel couldn’t help smiling. She sat down on the edge of the bed and held out her hand. “Aiden, I have the most incredible news. Look! Drew and I are engaged.”

  Aiden’s head turned slowly toward her, her gaze dropping to Angel’s extended hand. Aiden’s face crumpled suddenly, and she turned her head away, covering her face with the washcloth.

  “Aiden, what’s wrong? What is it?” But her sister’s sobs only grew louder. Feeling the first sliver of panic, Angel got up and closed the bedroom door. She came back to stand over the bed. “Aiden, you’d better tell me what’s wrong.”

  A pause, then, “I’m pregnant.”

  At first Angel thought she must have heard her wrong, but the words slowly sank in, and she felt her breath leave her body in a painful rush. Knees shaking, she sat down heavily on the bed.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I haven’t been to the doctor, but, yes, I’m sure.” Aiden’s sobs had subsided, but her voice still held a hint of hysteria.

  “Who—?”

  For the first time since Angel had entered her room, Aiden met her gaze. Angel felt a hard knot of apprehension twisting in her stomach.

  “Drew.”

  Angel’s heart contracted with the force and pain of a physical blow. Fear, as sharp and piercing as a knife, sliced through her veins. Stunned, she stared at Aiden, striving for breath. “You’re lying!” she finally gasped. “Why would you say such a thing? How could you be so cruel, Aiden?”

  “I’m not lying,” Aiden denied angrily.

  “How could you do this to me?” Angel screamed, jumping up from the bed and whirling toward the door. She couldn’t stand to look at Aiden’s face, couldn’t bear to think that there could be even a remote chance her sister was telling the truth.

  “You broke up with h
im two months ago. You said it was over,” Aiden said, her voice suddenly sounding calm. “I didn’t think you’d get back together. It just happened.”

  Angel wanted to slap her sister, slap that tear-stained face until she made Aiden admit she was lying. But what if she wasn’t?

  “I don’t believe you,” she whispered desperately, as much for her own benefit as Aiden’s. “And I’ll never forgive you for this, Aiden!” Angel spun around and fled the room, her heart hammering painfully against her chest. Weak-kneed, her head spinning, she supported herself against the wall outside Aiden’s door. She closed her eyes against the fear, the dread.

  Moments later she climbed over the fence separating the Lowell and Maitland property, and stood looking up at Drew’s open window. His light was still on, and she watched for long, heartsick moments as he paced back and forth across his room.

  “Drew.” She called his name softly, aware that his parent’s bedroom was on the other side of the house. “Drew!”

  He came to the window and looked out. “Angel? What are you doing?”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  Something in her voice must have alerted him. He stood silently for a moment, gazing down at her. “I’ll be right down.”

  “Is it true?” she demanded when they stood face to face at the edge of the yard.

  “Angel, what are you talking about?” he asked guardedly.

  Already she could read the truth in his eyes. “You and Aiden. Is it true?” she repeated. She turned away from his stricken expression. “Never mind. You just answered my question.” She pulled the ring from her finger and hurled it toward his chest. For just an instant it was a flashing arc in the moonlight, a falling star, before it dropped to the ground and died.

  Drew grabbed her arm as she tried to run away. “Angel, wait. Please, let me explain. It’s not what you think. It was only one night—”

  “It only takes one night to make a baby, Drew.”